I burn bridges and build walls.

Down the streets, I watch how you take steps when you walk,
Memorize how your lips move whenever you talk,
And store in my mind a record of your laughter.
Just to hear your name, I know I’ll be better.

Whenever you’re near, in your direction, I stare.
In a sea of people, all I can see is you.
You’ve got the power to keep my eyes locked on you.
Lay your eyes on me; let’s have a moment to share.

Whenever the sky is conquered by this darkness,
I dream of us, ‘cause that’s how much I’m hopeless,
Pretend that you’re with me and that you are all mine,
I’ll be in reality when sun starts to shine.

My life was black and white ‘til you added up hue.
Like tattoo, your name has left my heart with a mark.
You make my name sound special and that give me spark.
No one has ever made me feel this way but you.

You’re the star no other can ever be brighter
And the star no other can ever be higher.
You shine in the heavens and make a perfect sight.
I wish you’ll fall for me, but that thought isn’t right.

How I wish that you’ll fight for me with all your might
And in my darkest night you will serve as my light
And when I’m down, you’ll lift me up and hold me tight.
You’ll be my savior but that thought doesn’t seem right.

I’ve fallen deeply in love with you from the start.
Even if it breaks me to watch you from afar,
Until forever and always, you’ll have my heart,
This is my oath to the one whose name starts with R.

— For The One Whose Name Starts With R


I have always been a prisoner of the past,

It has been two years but the heart ache still would last,

How I wish the pain can be swept away like dust,

How I wish it can just go away with the gust.

He stood above me — tall, firm, proud, and full of pride,

I lay on the ground crying, bleeding, and dying inside.

I blame his blunt words for every teardrop that falls,

I blame him for destroying me and all my walls.

He made me feel like I’m a hideous beast,

In the darkest place is where I can only feast,

Pour me some courage so I can show him my fist,

But I’ve got nothing for everything to be ceased.

Apology isn’t in his vocabulary,

And his undying pride can never be buried,

But I’ve got to lighten the burden I carried,

I need to forgive even if he’s not sorry.

I get horrified when I looked at the mirror,

The past rewinds and its terrifying horror,

The times he taunted me until I was daunted,

And I can’t deny that the past kept me haunted.

— Still Haunted


My friend,
I tell you,
If I die tonight,
Do my eulogy,
That will make me laugh,
Instead of cry,
Because, my friend,
I have cried
More than enough
In my entire life
And I would not want
To bring tears to my grave,
So my friend, if I die tonight,
Do my eulogy,
That will make me laugh,
In afterlife.

— Laughing in Afterlife


Jailed all alone in a room of darkness,
Oceans separate us apart yet we’re under the same sky,
Hope fires up my heart that you’ll come back,
None of these feelings I could comprehend.

Reigning in my heart is the feeling I’ve never felt,
Enchanted by the way your eyes light up whenever you smile,
Yearning for the warmth of your hug and tenderness of your kisses,
Needing you right next to me in between every millisecond,
Aching deep inside while without you by my side,
Never have I ever felt this way before.

— John Reynan


I wonder why you hate how your eyes

Were as dark as the sky when night falls,

I wonder why you hate how your nose

Was sculpted the way it is,

I wonder why you hate how your lips

Were as red as your blood,

I wonder why you hate how your skin

Was tanned as if it was kissed by the sun,

I wonder why you hate how your hair

Was blacker than ink and smoother than silk,

I wonder why you hate how your voice

Was as deep as the depth of the Pacific Ocean,

And I wonder why you hate every part of you

While all I do was admire every atom that makes you up.

— I Wonder Why


If you ever realize
That you still want
To smell the scent
Of my strawberry gel

If you ever realize
That you still want
To taste the sweetness
Of tea in breakfast

If you ever realize
That you still want
To feel my fingers
Between yours

If you ever realize
That you still want
To lean on my shoulder
While watching a movie

If you ever realize
That you still want
To feel the warmth
In my embrace

If you ever realize
That you still want
To feel my lips
Against yours

Darling if you ever realize
That you still want to be with me
I’ll be waiting in the porch
Of our house near the river side.

— If You Ever Realize


I heard the raindrops
Hit the roof of our house
I wonder to myself
If these raindrops
Were actually alive,
I wonder to myself
If these raindrops
Can actually feel
The impact as they hit
The roof of our house,
Falling in love
Is like the falling
Of a living raindrop
The impact is great
As it hits the roof.

— Impact



And she hides
The tears
In the speck of light
In her eyes
Whenever she smiles,
And she stops
Her sobs
From slipping
From her mouth
With the laughter
She always cracks,
If you just can see
Right through her
You’d see the scars
That she hides
In the stars
In her eyes.

— In Her Eyes


I’ve been called ugly
When I chose to stay simple.

I’ve been called a hoe
When I put on some make up.

I’ve been called a loner
When I have no date at the party.

I’ve been called a slut
When I first kissed the guy I love.

I’ve been called a hypocrite
When I’m nice to everyone.

I’ve been called a bitch
When I defended myself.

I’ve been called fat
When I tried to gain weight.

I’ve been called anorexic
When I starved myself.

I’ve been called an attention seeker
When I left a suicide note.

Now what would you call me
When you’ll see me in my coffin?


I lay down my bed
With the moon
Reflecting little light
The very little hope
While the darkness
Ate up the sky
Served as my blanket

And the wounds
On my wrist
While the knife
In my hand,
And the tears
Streaming down
My eyes
And blood
Dripping from
My veins
And my soulless body

In my soul’s misery.